Is it just me or have kids’ parties gotten out of control? Nearly every time I go on Facebook, I’m astounded by the measures parents take to throw over-the-top parties for their children. And it’s not just birthday parties, but celebrations across the board: baptisms and christenings, end-of-school-year parties and graduations. Don’t get me wrong — I understand people wanting to celebrate, but I really don’t see why we have to make these celebrations into such … events. Sometimes these parties — for children, remember — are as elaborate as weddings. I recently saw photos from an event for a new baby that was so extreme, I swear it rivaled the royal wedding. People are hiring event planners, photographers, drones and DJs.
As a mom of young kids, I’m sick of it.
When I was a little girl, my birthday parties were so simple. Most of the time it was just a gathering of a few friends. My mom would take us to the movies and we would then have pizza, cake and listen to music. It was about having fun and creating a special memory with people I loved. I didn’t ever need — or expect — a big fancy party. When I was little, my parents weren’t focused on hosting an event that people would be talking about for days (or commenting on on Instagram), but rather creating a fun party for me. And that was all I needed.
Now it seems like the motto is: the bigger the better. And I worry that we’re teaching kids that to have a great party, we have to spend a lot of money. By creating such over-the-top themed events, we’re focusing on the events themselves and not what we’re actually celebrating.
I will admit I’ve even felt some pressure to follow along with this trend. Case in point: I recently threw my daughter a 6th birthday party. By most standards, I would say it was a mid-level extravagance. I decorated myself, but we hired entertainment for the children, purchased a beautiful cake from a bakery, put together goody bags and hosted the party at a local restaurant. All together, it cost over $600 (or around 550 euros, as I’m an expat living in Italy). Yes, it’s a lot of money, but from conversations I’ve had with fellow parents, I know it’s also not an uncommon amount to spend. Plus, I wanted to make sure my daughter had a memorable party! We all want our kids to be happy, right? This was also the first year that my daughter would share her birthday with her new baby brother (their birthdays are one day apart), so I wanted to make sure she had a party that was all for her.
But, after it was done, and even though my daughter had a blast, I didn’t like that I’d felt pressured to throw a big party in the first place. I have to admit, I feel like a bit of a hypocrite complaining about all the extravagance and yet here I am, having followed the trend myself. And I don’t want to set this precedent for every year. (Hopefully it’s not too late!) By throwing these types of parties for little kids, I worry that we’re setting our children up to be — for lack of a better phrase — spoiled little brats. Again, I’m somewhat guilty of this myself. For example, this year, I didn’t really want to hire an entertainer for my daughter’s party, but I did it last year and my daughter loved it and begged me to do it again, so I caved. But I’ve decided that in the future, I want to put my money to better use. I don’t want my daughter to think over-the-top parties are normal. Besides that, I honestly don’t want to have to fuss every single year like this. I want to bring back simple parties like the ones I enjoyed as a child — a few friends and pizza. And I want my children to know that the money we save will be for their future — for travel and school, etc.
Of course I want my children to feel special on their birthdays. I want them to have the best time. But if I know anything about kids, I know they can have plenty of fun without any extravagance at all.
