Most nights, I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening for the slightest sound from Jake or Ella. My body is constantly on high alert, ready to jump out of bed at any moment. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to shut off my brain and just sleep.

“Mommy, you look so tired,” Jake told me one morning, his little hand tugging at my sleeve as I sat at the kitchen table, trying to muster the energy to start the day.

I forced a smile. “Mommy just hasn’t been sleeping well, sweetie.”

But it wasn’t just a rough night here or there. It had been months since I’d slept through the night without waking up multiple times. I tried everything: counting sheep, meditation, even those herbal teas that promise a good night’s sleep. But nothing worked.

One night, while waiting for a team call at my remote job, I found myself aimlessly scrolling through Reddit. I typed, “How to fall asleep fast?” into the search bar, not expecting to find anything useful. But what I discovered ended up changing everything.

1. My Brother’s Secret to Sleep

The first post that caught my attention was a simple exchange between a user and their 16-year-old brother. The user had asked him how he managed to fall asleep so quickly, and his response was amusing and intriguing.

“The trick is a clean conscience. I got nothing to think about,” he had said.

“But how do you not think about anything?” the user asked, clearly baffled.

“I don’t know… I just stop thinking,” the brother replied with the kind of nonchalance only a teenager could muster.

2. The Art of Clearing Your Mind

Another user shared a method that was a bit more detailed and seemed like it could actually work. They had started by not thinking and had to train themselves to completely clear their mind.

They cut off inner monologues, imagined being born deaf, and thought primarily in images. They moved on to focusing on their feelings and tuning out those sensations.

“In the beginning, my primary goal was to relieve stress through meditation, but it ended up being a useful way to fall asleep. I don’t remember the last time I woke up in the middle of the night. The only downside is that I sleep like the dead and never dream. I just close my eyes as if to blink, and when I open them again, it’s morning,” the user explained.

3. Living Without Regrets

One post resonated on a deeper level with me. It came from someone who had learned to live without regrets, and that mindset had transformed their sleep.

“I’ve learned to live with no [regrets] so there’s nothing to worry about when my mind relaxes. Every decision I ever made was the right one at that time. Or at least it was what I wanted, so there’s no point in stressing about it now,” the user shared.

I thought about my separation from Penn. It had been one of the hardest decisions of my life, and even though I knew it was the right choice, the guilt and doubt still haunted me at night. Could I learn to accept my past decisions and let go of the what-ifs?

4. The Power of a Sleep Ritual

Another piece of advice that caught my eye was about the importance of a sleep ritual.

“I wear a sleep mask, and I think putting it on is part of the ritual that tells my brain that it’s bedtime,” one user wrote.

I had never thought about creating a bedtime ritual before, but it made sense. Maybe a routine like that could help signal to my body and mind that it was time to shut down.

5. The Sudden Sleep Trick

A user shared a story about their friend who could fall asleep within seconds, and I found myself envying that ability.

“We’ll be playing video games, then he’ll suddenly say he’s tired, and goodnight. Literally seconds later, I can hear him snoring in his room,” the user wrote.

6. Embracing the Ability to Sleep Instantly

Someone else talked about how they had always been able to sleep instantly and how they were often teased for it growing up.

“Seeing as how I’m in the minority of people, I must assume that would be because of envy? I’m not sure if other people like me are like this, but I don’t have an inner monologue that distracts from my sleep time,” they explained.

7. Imagining a New World

Another user had an interesting approach that involved using their imagination to fall asleep.

“The best trick I’ve found when I don’t fall asleep easily is to put myself in a movie. Like, imagine yourself walking through the gates of Hogwarts. What happens next? All is up to you, and just let your imagination flow. Eventually, you’ll fall asleep without realizing it,” they suggested.

8. Meditative Sleep

A user described a meditation method they had learned in a yoga class, and it sounded like a methodical approach that could work.

“Lay flat on your back, take deep breaths through your nose. As you exhale, mentally relax each muscle group starting with your face and working down to your toes. Try to imagine exhaling through your muscles and out through your toes. Imagine your body slowly melting into your bed,” they explained.

“Next, imagine a river as vividly as possible. It helps if you use one from memory. I personally combine scenes from ‘The River Wild’ movie with memories from a family trip to the Green River. Picture yourself walking out to the middle of the river and let yourself get lost in the flow around you.”

“Try to visualize any stray thoughts floating toward you on the river. As you think of things, set them in the water and watch them float away.”

9. The Doer vs. The Thinker

Another person described the differences between themselves and their partner when it came to sleep, and I found it incredibly relatable.

“I’m a doer; he is a thinker. Worrying about stuff keeps him up at night, whereas I go to bed with the reassurance that I’ve done all I can do that day, and que sera, sera,” they wrote.

“He brings his phone to bed and browses Reddit, whereas I’m strictly no screens an hour before bed. Other than bringing the phone to bed, he has no routine.”

“By about 9:30, I’m winding down with my skincare routine, washing up, making a hot drink, and then in bed with a book by 10:15 at the latest. I’m pretty physically tired by the time I hit the pillow.”

Finding My Sanctuary

After reading these stories, I knew it was time to make a change. That night, as I lay in bed, I decided to try something different. I closed my eyes and began to imagine a place that was mine and mine alone: an imaginary world where everything was calm and safe.

I pictured myself walking through a beautiful garden, the kind that only exists in fairy tales, with vibrant flowers and soft, golden light. I imagined myself sitting on a bench under a tall oak tree where the air was fresh, and the world was silent.

As I focused on this world, I felt my body begin to relax. The tension in my shoulders eased, and the constant chatter in my mind started to fade away.

“Michelle,” I whispered to myself, almost as if reassuring a younger version of me, “everything is okay. You’re safe here.”

I let out a deep breath, sinking deeper into the comfort of my bed. The garden in my mind felt so real and soothing that I could almost smell the flowers.

Before I knew it, I was asleep.

The next morning, I woke up to the soft sunlight streaming through my window. I felt different: lighter, rested in a way I hadn’t been in months. As I stretched and sat up, I couldn’t help but smile. I had actually slept through the night.

Jake came running into my room, his face full of excitement. “Mommy! Did you sleep well last night?”